When we talk about play and learning, one of the most powerful shifts we can make is this:
Stop asking, “What’s wrong with this child?”
Start asking, “What is this child trying to learn?”
I met a mum recently who took her young son to an indoor play centre called Little Diggers. It was a huge indoor sandpit — every child’s dream — with diggers, buckets, and space to explore.
But there was one strict rule: “No throwing sand.”
She told me she was anxious going in — she knew her little boy would struggle with that. And despite reminding him again and again, he just couldn’t resist. He wasn’t throwing it at anyone. He wasn’t angry or disruptive. He just couldn’t help watching the sand move through the air. He was fascinated. Absorbed.
Eventually, she was asked to leave.
She came to me frustrated, wondering if she should file a complaint about how she’d been treated.
And I said this:
“What you witnessed was your child engaging in the trajectory schema.”
That urge to throw? That deep need to watch things move through space? It’s not mischief — it’s learning. It’s science in motion. It’s physics via play.
So I suggested a different approach.
“Try throwing and catching games,” I said. “Paper planes. Ball games. Maybe he’s a future cricketer or basketballer!”
Sometimes we miss what’s right in front of us: a child showing us who they are and how they learn.
Wealthy families often invest early in sports coaching, hoping to spark talent. But every parent has that same opportunity — it just takes noticing.
This story is why I love talking about play schemas. They help us reframe what we see. They remind us that children aren’t being ‘naughty’ — they’re following natural urges to understand the world.
So next time your child is bouncing, spinning, posting, or throwing — pause.
Ask yourself, what’s the schema here?
And how can I support it?
Because that’s not behaviour to be managed —
That’s potential to be nurtured.
